CLB 013: Why Self-Esteem is Over-rated



In this episode you’re going to discover why self-esteem is overrated. Yes, I said OVER-rated. I know a lot of self-help books and programs out there are all about boosting your self-esteem.

Well, I’m going to tell why those don’t work and why you don’t need to waste your money on them.


Key Points: Why Self-Esteem is Over-rated

  • Most people can relate to the core belief of “I’m not good enough as I am. There is something wrong with me or lacking in me.”
  • No matter how hard we try or how much we achieve, our thinking self can always find something to dislike, some way in which we are lacking, deficient, not good enough.
  • What exactly is self-esteem? An opinion you hold about yourself.
  • Here’s the reason why self-esteem is overrated: self-esteem is not a fact; it’s just an opinion.
  • It’s nothing more than a highly subjective judgement.
  • For most people, including myself, the more positive the thought, the more resistance there is … thoughts like “Yeah, right!” “Who are you kidding?” “Maybe in your dreams” automatically pop up.
  • The reality is you can find an infinite number of good and bad stories to tell about yourself and as long as you’re invested in self-esteem you’re going to waste a lot of time in this chess game, fighting an endless battle against your own limitless supply of negative thoughts.
  • What if you completely let go of judging yourself as a person? What would life be like if you were to let go of self-esteem altogether?
  • The good news is that leading a rich, full and meaningful life does not depend upon self-esteem at all.


Episode Transcript

You can download the transcript of this episode by clicking here.



Are you willing to try this?

Let go of trying to prove yourself. Let go of thinking of yourself as a “good person.” Let go of trying to justify your self-worth. Whatever judgments your thinking self makes of you – positive or negative – see them for what they are (just words) and let them go.

When you choose to leave the battle with self-esteem, here’s where you end up: Self-acceptance.

Being okay with who you are. Treating yourself kindly. Accepting that you are a human being and therefore imperfect. Allowing yourself to mess up, make mistakes and learn from them.

Instead of judging yourself you recognize your strengths and weaknesses and you do what you can to be the person you want to be.


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