How do you know if you have trouble dealing with expectations? Well…
Ever have thoughts like “I have to be this, “I should be that,” “I must do this or that?”
Or perhaps you perceive external pressure from others believing that they think you should, have to or must?
Or maybe you say that of others… he or she should, has to or must…
Yeah, we all have had these thoughts at points in our lives. These are expectations – expectations that we put on ourselves, we perceive that others place upon us or that we place upon others.
We can have expectations when it comes to ourselves and others, and we can have expectations when it comes to the situations that we find ourselves in.
Have you found yourself wishing that your current situation was different than what it is?
How often have you wanted a relationship to be something that it is not?
How often have you wished you were something that you are not? Or that someone in your life was different than what they are?
How do you feel when you believe those thoughts? When you believe and apply these expectations?
You feel bad, right? At the very least, not good. Perhaps you feel less than, no good, that you didn’t live up to the expectations. Often the primary emotion is disappointment – disappointment that you didn’t live up to your own expectations or others’ expectations or that other people didn’t live up to your expectations or that your life situation isn’t living up to your expectations.
Ultimately, all expectations end in disappointment or heartbreak.
So, how can we deal with expectations – expectations of ourselves, from others, that we hold others to and of our life situations – so that we no longer feel disappointment as a result?
Key Points Re: Dealing With Expectations
- Let go of judging. Think of nothing that happens as being either “good” or “bad.” Release yourself, others and the situation from judgments.
- Accept the present moment as is. Meet yourself where you are. Meet others where they are.
- What happens when you are no longer burdened by thoughts of judgement?
- Without the human mind, when we aren’t entangled up in our thoughts, things just happen, free of judgment, free of expectations. It’s only when we apply our filter of judgements and expectations set out by our minds, by our egos, that things become disappointing, that people can ever disappoint us.
- When people disappoint you it’s not really their fault. They are just being who they are. It’s no one’s fault. Just be aware that it’s your expectations, which are a function of ego that caused the feelings of disappointment in you.
- When we judge we don’t seek to understand. When we judge we’ve already made up our minds, we’ve already come to our conclusion. So when we stop judging we allow ourselves the opportunity to understand and when we understand better we can make wiser choices, and, as a result, take more effective action based on those wiser choices.
You can download the transcript of this episode by clicking here.
I encourage you to test this out for yourself… are you willing to find out what happens when you let go of expectations and judgements, of yourself, of others, of your life situations?
Let the love in. Give the love out. See how that changes your life.