what you really want

CLB 010: Get Clear On What You Really Want

So up to this point we’ve been placing a lot of our focus on the painful feelings you struggle with and the painful thoughts you get entangled by … basically, all the things that you don’t want. But we haven’t yet focused on what you do want – what sort of person you want to be, what sort of relationships you want to build, what you want to do with your life to make it richer, fuller, and more meaningful.

So let’s get clear about what you really want.

What are you here for? What makes your life worth living? It’s amazing how many people never consider those questions, just going through life following the same routine, day after day.

The whole point of what we’re doing here is, sure, to help you overcome social anxiety … but at a deeper level it’s about helping you to live a rich, full and meaningful life. I mean, what’s the point of everything we’ve talked about so far, of accepting pain, practicing de-fusion, exposing yourself to challenging situations if it’s not serving to make your life richer and fuller?

The reality is that you don’t just want to overcome social anxiety. You want to be able to live the life you want to live – make new friends, date, get a new job – whatever that is for you.

Here’s how to gain some clarity…

Key Points

  • Knowing what matters is about identifying your values and living your life guided by those values.
  • Values are our heart’s deepest desires: how we want to be, what we want to stand for, and how we want to relate to the world around us.
  • Values are like a compass. A compass gives you direction and keeps you on track when you’re traveling. And our values do the same for the journey of life. We use them to choose the direction in which we want to move and to keep us on track as we go.
  • Values are far more empowering than goals because they’re always available to us. In any moment you have the choice to act on your values or not.
  • Values are here and now (goals are in the future).
  • Values never need to be justified.
  • Values often need to be prioritized.
  • Values are best held lightly.
  • Values are freely chosen.

Episode Transcript

You can download a copy of this episode’s transcript by clicking here.

Home Play

I encourage you to download and complete the Life Values Questionnaire.

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